I’m honest but can you trust me?

Liv’s Letters

January 15, 2023

What does it mean when you say you can trust someone?

A: They are 100% honest and will tell me the truth no matter what.

B: They will take care of me and protect me and my feelings.

C: All of the above

D: Either/or

When I read that it’s a bit of a brain teaser. Do you feel the same way?

I think about this in my personal and professional life.

I am a very honest person. However, if I told you all of my anxieties or opinions – if I truly shared every one of my honest thoughts with you – would you still trust me? Would my deepest insecurities waver your trust or worse, interest, in our relationship or project?

I find this topic incredibly interesting.

If your partner withholds information to save a sweet surprise, you still trust them, right?

Have you forgiven your parents for the tooth fairy story?

If I’m honest about how I’m feeling, but leave out some of the most intense thoughts, perhaps some of the most precarious ones, am I still trustworthy? Am I still honest?

You don’t need to have the answers to any of these questions, but they are worth thinking about.

My answer is E: I trust those who I believe in. It’s a judgment call.

I know my friend Verbeck will tell it to me like it is, whether I love the news or not. I believe in her to have my back and to protect me and my feelings by giving me the truth when it’s relevant to me and it is, a truth.

That’s where I think we get hung up.

Some of the thoughts I keep in my head, they aren’t the truth. They aren’t even really my truth, they’re just my insecurities, fears, reflexes, temporary reactions to circumstances, etc.

You can trust me to tell you the truth when I know it is my truth. Before then, I likely won’t share any thoughts that aren’t fully-formed.

I think it’s ok to accept the fact that we all may define trust differently and as long as there is clarity and communication around that, it’s ok. We have the friends who will tell us we look beautiful in the top that is objectively not cute, and the friend who will tell us we need to change the shirt immediately.

In all versions, they are speaking their version of truth and we believe them.

So I want to know – how do you define trust?

Prompts for Trust:

Who do I trust and why do I trust them?
What is the last honest action I have taken? (Giving feedback, sharing feelings, etc.)
When was the last time you withheld information? Why?

With love and light,
Liv